William's Journey

     My son was born on October 1, 2002, at 7lb 7oz.  In that moment I wanted to be every part of his life.  I was looking forward to every moment.  There were moments that I was not prepared for in the journey ahead.  When I brought him home there were so many things I didn't expect.  I read the books that I needed to read.  These moments for William and I consisted of sleeping habits, eating issues, and speaking.   
     William did not sleep.  When I say he didn't sleep I wasn't joking.  I think that maybe he got a few hours each night.  Yes, that was normal for a newborn because he took long naps.  There were other moms telling me that things would get better.  It did not get better.  I often wondered what I was doing wrong.  I would read about eating and daily schedules for my child.  My son would not have nothing to do with it.  Then there was teething and I had just expected that this was going to be our normal life.  We continued on and eventually when he was two he did start to get some sleep.  In this time we added a new life to his world.  His baby sister Abigail arrived in July 22, 2004.  I had received better mommy advice than I had before.  If she was tired I let her sleep.  I didn't wake her up to nurse as much as I did with William.  If she was hungry she would wake up.  I started bedtime routine early with her and she was sleeping all night at 3 months old.  I was blessed because I still had some things to figure out what William was doing. 
     I was noticing that although William was 2, he wasn't speaking.  He would say hi, mama and dada.   It was time for his yearly doctor visit and we were referred to First Steps.  It was a difficult time for us because I was so sensitive in regards to my ability as a mother.  I knew that this was our answer, but the kids' father said that we could do this ourselves.  We were not speech therapist nor were we doctors.  We finally were able to start our journey.  In one year William was coming from just a few words to a whole vocabulary to the point that I finally knew what he wanted and needed from me.  It was the best thing in the world to hear his voice.  I loved it. 
     In this process William was attending developmental preschool.  He took to it right away.   He learned to talk really well.  I am still amazed about where we are now.  I say this because it was so hard for me to watch him struggle with his words and his temper.  The temper came about when he didn't have the words.  I can not imagine what is going on in his brain.  The temper did not show up in school until about the 2nd grade.  It was just baffling to me.   It was at the end of his preschool time that I think was the hardest for me.  The school psychologist pointed out that there were some similarities to the what was described on the high functioning Autism spectrum.  This not only explained the difficulties in toilet training, speech and eating habits. 
     If the Zombie Apocalypse would happen I would be really concerned with my children's ability to survive.  I say this because William doesn't venture out of his comfort zone of chicken nuggets, hot dogs, mac & cheese, mashed potato, French fries, corn and apple sauce.  He also likes rice and ground turkey.  I will chop up green peppers to put in the turkey corn and rice mixture.  I have put in sweet potato puree' in the mac & cheese or cauliflower in the mashed potato.  I have to get pretty creative with a picky eater.   I would worry so much about this, yet now he seems to be trying new things.  He will tell you what he thinks.  For instance, he tried a omelet the other day.  His word to describe his experience was, "disgusting."  He now like hamburger and pepperoni pizza.  Now he eats the hamburger first then his bun and the pizza will get picked apart and the crust will not be touched.  He will eat a bread stick.  It's something that I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.  He is starting trying new things so we are making progress.
     Through all that we have been through with divorce, moving to a new home and starting a new family with Barry.  We are now at a place where I am not worried anymore.  He is doing well in school and at home.  He has fun with his brothers and sister.   In everything during this journey I look at what I was taught when I was William's age that God doesn't give us what we can't handle.