I have had the best year. My children are doing well and on September 7, 2014, I will be married to my best friend for one year. He is not only my best friend. He is the love of my life. I am about to impart a piece of advice that I hope all who read this will take to heart. It's just not that important to be right. I know that Barry and I have a family theme. What is this theme you ask? It's not unique and it shows how my husband does honor me by spoiling me to the ends of the Earth. "Barry is the King of his home, but answers to the Queen and we all answer to the Princess." Yes, I am in charge of the home. This is just something silly that we came up with one day. What does this say about marriage in general?
I will take you to the Bible. I hope that you aren't clicking out on me. The bible in Ephesians 5:22, says that I should submit to my husband and that Barry should love me and care for me as Christ loves and cares for me. I believe that this is for all persons of all faiths. We should love one another and submit to one another. Barry truly does love and care for as the divinity that I pray to loves and cares for me. I do my best to do the same for him.
Barry shows me each day that he makes my life a little better each day. He truly honors me each day. I hope and pray that I am there for him as he is there for me. There is not a day that I don't feel special to him. Have we had our struggles? Yes. We are humans, yet there has never been a time where we have blamed each other regardless of the issue at the time. Here are three things that I have learned about marriage.
I. Love one another as God loves you
II. Never put blame on your spouse. Blame along with anger doesn't solve anything.
III. Honesty. What can it hurt? If you are honest there are no surprises when trouble does arrive. It's okay to make mistakes because we are humans and we are not perfect. Honesty and love will bring out the best in both parties.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Our Family's Battle with Autism
My son is eleven years old and has been learning to live with Autism since we started our journey when he was two. I myself may have some Autistic similarities, so it was my prayer during pregnancy that my children would not struggle in school. It was the prayer that I would express because I had such a rough time in school. When he was born there were no indication that he would have Autism or any special needs. His early years were pretty normal for a little guy. It was after his 18 month vaccination that I started noticing that he was no longer babbling or using the words that he learned. His gross motor skills were progressing, but his verbal progression was slowing down. His sleep patterns had never been on schedule. Also, his eating had started to be more picky. In this time my family added a new member in the family with my daughter Abby. I was so lucky that she slept during the night progressed in all the areas of gross and verbal skills. It helped me to concentrate on my son's needs.
We started first steps and he began to talk. He was always a good brother and played well with his sister. He also played well with the children of the Mom's Time Out group that we attended through church. There were other concerns such as his inability to transition to other activities and his temper. These two thing were because he could not properly communicate with me. When he was starting to verbalize more then the temper go better. It's only been recently that something seems to have clicked. Things are better at home and school. I can tell you what did help and what I believe does not help.
I am not a Jenny McCarthy fan, gluten free, organic buying or vaccination free mom. I WILL NOT MEDICATE MY SON!!!! The first avenue that I don't think that has helped with moms who have children of special needs especially Autism is Jenny McCarthy. She is a actor and I can't remember what she has done professionally and that shows how much I care about her. Now what I do care about is when she learned of a doctor in England who abdicated for non vaccinations of children because the mercury in the vaccinations were what he thought the link to Autism. Let me say that those in position of influence need to be careful of what causes they take on without research. I say this because I have taken my kids home because of meeting a mom who listened to Jenny McCarthy and did not vaccinate her children. I got the gross factor. Sorry if that's judgmental my children will not get anything that has be basically eradicated. Well let's get this straight I asked my doctor, who I had known since I was 13, and my son's pediatrician about this and they both called "Bullshit". This wasn't the word that they used but William's pediatrician was really annoyed because of the threat that this on a whole threatened the community as a whole. For example, think about the epidemics that we have eradicated with vaccinations. There is less of a chance to get small pox, polio or measles. It was discussed between myself and the pediatrician that if parents stopped having kids get vaccinated that there will be more cases of diseases that this country had eradicated.
A fellow mom told me to go gluten free or organic. Well let me tackle each subject with my experience with my child. Are you kidding me? Really? If I give my son a chicken nugget that is supposedly organic or gluten free and it doesn't look like what he thinks it should look like then you can just forget it. He will not eat it. These two food choices are extremely expensive. I rather he eat what I have given him which I have tweaked in order to give his meal nutritional value. My son is healthy and that all that counts.
What has helped my son? I have said before that we started with First Steps that consisted of speech and developmental therapy. This was an amazing start. William also went to developmental pre school. I believe that the real work began with behavior with parents and teachers. This was consistency. When the kids and I moved to Greenwood last year we found a good IEP team that truly wanted to help and be consistent. This year our work has really shown with a change in behavior. There has to be consistency in school and at home. I believe that one of my parental abilities that I had to overcome was discipline. I could not be afraid to discipline William. The speech therapist from First Steps had given me a great piece of advice. As a mom I am to discipline as if he didn't have any special needs. Another thing that I would write is that schedule however lightly followed helps a great deal. Its the consistency of life that these kinds like. William knows what's coming. When I know that we are going to deviate then I will let William know. I also let him know what I expect of him because there are no excuses. Yes, he does get more of a pass if he is feeling stressed. If I know that he knows better then it's time for me to step in and give correction. It is my belief that any child can be taught and can be expected to act in a way that is befitting to a good young man.
In conclusion, our progress is because of consistency in schedule and discipline at home and school. It hasn't been perfect and I am in no way a perfect mom. I know what works well for my child. There are moms that will do things differently and that's ok. All kids are different even if a child is on the spectrum. All moms will do things differently. We are rearing members of this country that will carry on long after we are gone. Let's do the best we can now.
We started first steps and he began to talk. He was always a good brother and played well with his sister. He also played well with the children of the Mom's Time Out group that we attended through church. There were other concerns such as his inability to transition to other activities and his temper. These two thing were because he could not properly communicate with me. When he was starting to verbalize more then the temper go better. It's only been recently that something seems to have clicked. Things are better at home and school. I can tell you what did help and what I believe does not help.
I am not a Jenny McCarthy fan, gluten free, organic buying or vaccination free mom. I WILL NOT MEDICATE MY SON!!!! The first avenue that I don't think that has helped with moms who have children of special needs especially Autism is Jenny McCarthy. She is a actor and I can't remember what she has done professionally and that shows how much I care about her. Now what I do care about is when she learned of a doctor in England who abdicated for non vaccinations of children because the mercury in the vaccinations were what he thought the link to Autism. Let me say that those in position of influence need to be careful of what causes they take on without research. I say this because I have taken my kids home because of meeting a mom who listened to Jenny McCarthy and did not vaccinate her children. I got the gross factor. Sorry if that's judgmental my children will not get anything that has be basically eradicated. Well let's get this straight I asked my doctor, who I had known since I was 13, and my son's pediatrician about this and they both called "Bullshit". This wasn't the word that they used but William's pediatrician was really annoyed because of the threat that this on a whole threatened the community as a whole. For example, think about the epidemics that we have eradicated with vaccinations. There is less of a chance to get small pox, polio or measles. It was discussed between myself and the pediatrician that if parents stopped having kids get vaccinated that there will be more cases of diseases that this country had eradicated.
A fellow mom told me to go gluten free or organic. Well let me tackle each subject with my experience with my child. Are you kidding me? Really? If I give my son a chicken nugget that is supposedly organic or gluten free and it doesn't look like what he thinks it should look like then you can just forget it. He will not eat it. These two food choices are extremely expensive. I rather he eat what I have given him which I have tweaked in order to give his meal nutritional value. My son is healthy and that all that counts.
What has helped my son? I have said before that we started with First Steps that consisted of speech and developmental therapy. This was an amazing start. William also went to developmental pre school. I believe that the real work began with behavior with parents and teachers. This was consistency. When the kids and I moved to Greenwood last year we found a good IEP team that truly wanted to help and be consistent. This year our work has really shown with a change in behavior. There has to be consistency in school and at home. I believe that one of my parental abilities that I had to overcome was discipline. I could not be afraid to discipline William. The speech therapist from First Steps had given me a great piece of advice. As a mom I am to discipline as if he didn't have any special needs. Another thing that I would write is that schedule however lightly followed helps a great deal. Its the consistency of life that these kinds like. William knows what's coming. When I know that we are going to deviate then I will let William know. I also let him know what I expect of him because there are no excuses. Yes, he does get more of a pass if he is feeling stressed. If I know that he knows better then it's time for me to step in and give correction. It is my belief that any child can be taught and can be expected to act in a way that is befitting to a good young man.
In conclusion, our progress is because of consistency in schedule and discipline at home and school. It hasn't been perfect and I am in no way a perfect mom. I know what works well for my child. There are moms that will do things differently and that's ok. All kids are different even if a child is on the spectrum. All moms will do things differently. We are rearing members of this country that will carry on long after we are gone. Let's do the best we can now.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Crap Robin Williams died
My favorite comedian outside of Bill Cosby was found dead this morning from an apparent suicide. I would like to share my favorite joke of all time. I would watch this stand up routine and marvel that he was talking about my people. Did you just look at me weird? Well before I was a NRA card carrying, tree hugging hippie, Libertarian, Tea Party sympathizer I was an Episcopalian. It's just like Robin Williams said, "Catholic Light!" Enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sUazVworSU
Thank you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sUazVworSU
Thank you
Friday, August 8, 2014
William's Journey
My son was born on October 1, 2002, at 7lb 7oz. In that moment I wanted to be every part of his life. I was looking forward to every moment. There were moments that I was not prepared for in the journey ahead. When I brought him home there were so many things I didn't expect. I read the books that I needed to read. These moments for William and I consisted of sleeping habits, eating issues, and speaking.
William did not sleep. When I say he didn't sleep I wasn't joking. I think that maybe he got a few hours each night. Yes, that was normal for a newborn because he took long naps. There were other moms telling me that things would get better. It did not get better. I often wondered what I was doing wrong. I would read about eating and daily schedules for my child. My son would not have nothing to do with it. Then there was teething and I had just expected that this was going to be our normal life. We continued on and eventually when he was two he did start to get some sleep. In this time we added a new life to his world. His baby sister Abigail arrived in July 22, 2004. I had received better mommy advice than I had before. If she was tired I let her sleep. I didn't wake her up to nurse as much as I did with William. If she was hungry she would wake up. I started bedtime routine early with her and she was sleeping all night at 3 months old. I was blessed because I still had some things to figure out what William was doing.
I was noticing that although William was 2, he wasn't speaking. He would say hi, mama and dada. It was time for his yearly doctor visit and we were referred to First Steps. It was a difficult time for us because I was so sensitive in regards to my ability as a mother. I knew that this was our answer, but the kids' father said that we could do this ourselves. We were not speech therapist nor were we doctors. We finally were able to start our journey. In one year William was coming from just a few words to a whole vocabulary to the point that I finally knew what he wanted and needed from me. It was the best thing in the world to hear his voice. I loved it.
In this process William was attending developmental preschool. He took to it right away. He learned to talk really well. I am still amazed about where we are now. I say this because it was so hard for me to watch him struggle with his words and his temper. The temper came about when he didn't have the words. I can not imagine what is going on in his brain. The temper did not show up in school until about the 2nd grade. It was just baffling to me. It was at the end of his preschool time that I think was the hardest for me. The school psychologist pointed out that there were some similarities to the what was described on the high functioning Autism spectrum. This not only explained the difficulties in toilet training, speech and eating habits.
If the Zombie Apocalypse would happen I would be really concerned with my children's ability to survive. I say this because William doesn't venture out of his comfort zone of chicken nuggets, hot dogs, mac & cheese, mashed potato, French fries, corn and apple sauce. He also likes rice and ground turkey. I will chop up green peppers to put in the turkey corn and rice mixture. I have put in sweet potato puree' in the mac & cheese or cauliflower in the mashed potato. I have to get pretty creative with a picky eater. I would worry so much about this, yet now he seems to be trying new things. He will tell you what he thinks. For instance, he tried a omelet the other day. His word to describe his experience was, "disgusting." He now like hamburger and pepperoni pizza. Now he eats the hamburger first then his bun and the pizza will get picked apart and the crust will not be touched. He will eat a bread stick. It's something that I am still trying to wrap my brain around it. He is starting trying new things so we are making progress.
Through all that we have been through with divorce, moving to a new home and starting a new family with Barry. We are now at a place where I am not worried anymore. He is doing well in school and at home. He has fun with his brothers and sister. In everything during this journey I look at what I was taught when I was William's age that God doesn't give us what we can't handle.
William did not sleep. When I say he didn't sleep I wasn't joking. I think that maybe he got a few hours each night. Yes, that was normal for a newborn because he took long naps. There were other moms telling me that things would get better. It did not get better. I often wondered what I was doing wrong. I would read about eating and daily schedules for my child. My son would not have nothing to do with it. Then there was teething and I had just expected that this was going to be our normal life. We continued on and eventually when he was two he did start to get some sleep. In this time we added a new life to his world. His baby sister Abigail arrived in July 22, 2004. I had received better mommy advice than I had before. If she was tired I let her sleep. I didn't wake her up to nurse as much as I did with William. If she was hungry she would wake up. I started bedtime routine early with her and she was sleeping all night at 3 months old. I was blessed because I still had some things to figure out what William was doing.
I was noticing that although William was 2, he wasn't speaking. He would say hi, mama and dada. It was time for his yearly doctor visit and we were referred to First Steps. It was a difficult time for us because I was so sensitive in regards to my ability as a mother. I knew that this was our answer, but the kids' father said that we could do this ourselves. We were not speech therapist nor were we doctors. We finally were able to start our journey. In one year William was coming from just a few words to a whole vocabulary to the point that I finally knew what he wanted and needed from me. It was the best thing in the world to hear his voice. I loved it.
In this process William was attending developmental preschool. He took to it right away. He learned to talk really well. I am still amazed about where we are now. I say this because it was so hard for me to watch him struggle with his words and his temper. The temper came about when he didn't have the words. I can not imagine what is going on in his brain. The temper did not show up in school until about the 2nd grade. It was just baffling to me. It was at the end of his preschool time that I think was the hardest for me. The school psychologist pointed out that there were some similarities to the what was described on the high functioning Autism spectrum. This not only explained the difficulties in toilet training, speech and eating habits.
If the Zombie Apocalypse would happen I would be really concerned with my children's ability to survive. I say this because William doesn't venture out of his comfort zone of chicken nuggets, hot dogs, mac & cheese, mashed potato, French fries, corn and apple sauce. He also likes rice and ground turkey. I will chop up green peppers to put in the turkey corn and rice mixture. I have put in sweet potato puree' in the mac & cheese or cauliflower in the mashed potato. I have to get pretty creative with a picky eater. I would worry so much about this, yet now he seems to be trying new things. He will tell you what he thinks. For instance, he tried a omelet the other day. His word to describe his experience was, "disgusting." He now like hamburger and pepperoni pizza. Now he eats the hamburger first then his bun and the pizza will get picked apart and the crust will not be touched. He will eat a bread stick. It's something that I am still trying to wrap my brain around it. He is starting trying new things so we are making progress.
Through all that we have been through with divorce, moving to a new home and starting a new family with Barry. We are now at a place where I am not worried anymore. He is doing well in school and at home. He has fun with his brothers and sister. In everything during this journey I look at what I was taught when I was William's age that God doesn't give us what we can't handle.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Homework Lee Family Style
Barry and I were married in September 2013, as I have said in previous post. This most logical union ( I must pause and say that there will be Star Trek references) added to my already wonderful family. I now have in my possession four children instead of just two. There is my step-son Matthew 17, William 11, Abby 10, and my step-son Triptyn 10. The fun fact about Abby and Trip is they were born a day apart. The point of this is imagine what homework must be like for our family. It can be stressful and rewarding. The stress comes in when I realize that kids are slower when homework is due. The reward play into this family event when they actually want to go bed. My son William never wants to go to bed, but has matured over the summer. He seems to understand that if going to bet at a more appropriate time then he will by chance have a good day tomorrow. It has become a welcomed change rather than the "5 more minutes?". It's hard to turn down the most gorgeous eyes that has ever come across my gaze. I had to say NO! It was worth it to see the fruit of my resolve to kids who understood that sleep is a must.
May I say that I can't believe that kids are doing the basic form of Algebra in the 6th grade. I just remember trying to learn fractions. It's been my goal to pay close attention because my son gets it. He gets the order of things, but when he is against showing his skills he rather choose bedtime than completing homework. I could honestly say that I could see the struggle in his face rather the struggle to just find something else to do instead of homework. I can relate to this because if I sat at the dinning room table long enough my parents would either make things easier or just tell me to go to bed. I am trying not to go that route, yet understand the temptation. Why is it that when homework isn't welcomed kids seem to go slower?
Abby has told me everyday since she had homework that she would like to do it after dinner. We were finishing up dinner tonight. She came up to me, told me that it was time to do homework and Barry sat down and helped her with the "Common Core" math. Common Core is a topic for another day. When did these kids become responsible adults? I don't mean that they are perfect because perfect they are not. The have made the connection with homework and bedtime equals the following good day. I am proud and amazed at these people that I have loved me through all things these last few years.
Blessings to you,
Natalie
May I say that I can't believe that kids are doing the basic form of Algebra in the 6th grade. I just remember trying to learn fractions. It's been my goal to pay close attention because my son gets it. He gets the order of things, but when he is against showing his skills he rather choose bedtime than completing homework. I could honestly say that I could see the struggle in his face rather the struggle to just find something else to do instead of homework. I can relate to this because if I sat at the dinning room table long enough my parents would either make things easier or just tell me to go to bed. I am trying not to go that route, yet understand the temptation. Why is it that when homework isn't welcomed kids seem to go slower?
Abby has told me everyday since she had homework that she would like to do it after dinner. We were finishing up dinner tonight. She came up to me, told me that it was time to do homework and Barry sat down and helped her with the "Common Core" math. Common Core is a topic for another day. When did these kids become responsible adults? I don't mean that they are perfect because perfect they are not. The have made the connection with homework and bedtime equals the following good day. I am proud and amazed at these people that I have loved me through all things these last few years.
Blessings to you,
Natalie
Faith, Love and Star Trek
It has been quit the journey these past few years. My family life has changed leaps and bounds. In many ways the changes were sad, yet many doors have opened for me and my family. Where do I begin? It's wise to start in Dec. 2010. It was the start of my freedom and a course to my now blessed life.
My ex-husband, Bill, came home from work one evening. I didn't have dinner on the table and struggling to get the kids to start bedtime routine. Also, I was trying to straighten up the house in order to not hear his critical attitude towards me for the hundredth time. I remember it so well and can see it in my head. It was the moment that I have been avoiding. I told Bill that I was sick and asked if he could give the kids a bath. His response to me was the pinnacle of our entire marriage. "They like you better." In my head, "Are you fucking kidding me? You are their father!" I am shouting in my head and unable to speak because I knew I would be called stupid and crazy. Then I go to the kitchen to clean up the after dinner mess. All I hear is Bill once again complaining about work. He constantly did this and blamed others for his issues. I turned around and said, "When will you stop complaining about work?" Then that was it and I knew what I had done. It was a nerve that I had tapped. I continue to do what I need to do. When I sat down practically in tears and sicker than a dog Bill informed me that he thought it was best that we should separate. The words didn't hit me for awhile because it hit my heart before my head realized what he was saying. I can't remember what happened. I know we still slept in the same bed and the kids went to bed that night as normal. What happened the next day was a blur because I know I told my mom. I find that we as women will tell our moms and girlfriends before the world. I told my mom in fear because I felt that I had failed. This set the tone for his attitude towards me the next three years to the present day. It was my hope that we were able to get along but I don't pay attention to those who find me a second class citizen. I have racked my brain as to why he was controlling and emotionally abusive. It is unfortunate that he is unable to parent with me. He parents the way he thinks that he should parent and that I should follow suit. I will continue to do my best. I know I am doing well when I have children that respect me and others and do well in school. My ex continues to try to tell me who he thinks I should be as a mother. What do I have to say to that? "Your ship has sailed maybe you should go catch it."
The first date is a creature all it's own. Now I had a lot of first dates during the time after the divorce. I have two favorite first date stories. The first one is just creepy and then there is the one where I was called short. I had joined a online dating site. There were some real winners. I am not talking #WINNING! I accepted a meeting with this guy we will call Bob. Bob had his own business and that was a start. He had a job. In his emails on the site he seemed like he was decent guy. I go to Starbucks. It's where I meet people in person for the first time. This isn't exactly true. The first date where I was called short was different. Anyway, we will get back to that soon. Bob paid for my mocha and we talked and share stories. Then I noticed that he didn't have half of his fingers. I can put up with a lot and consider myself a tolerant person. I forget the story that he told me because I had made a decision that I didn't want to see him again. Oh! He talked funny too. It was just weird. I said I had to go and stepped outside. He continues to talk and he has a white work van. Did I mention the creep factor? We are standing outside and it's chilly. He asked if I was cold and before I could answer he pointed to his van, "Let's go sit in my van and warm up." My friends who know me know that I can at times bring a situation to a whole new level and think the worst. My answer was "NO!!!!!" I did not speak to him again. Can you imagine what was truly going on in his van?
Do you ever have the moment where you wish you could just turn around, but there's a free meal involved? This is the date I will never forget. I believe blessed by God who I think has this sense of humor that we as humans don't find very funny. HAHA!!! I meet Barry. We love politics, movies and Star Trek. He introduced me to "Nine Inch Nails" and he has maybe a forced appreciation of Broadway musicals. Did I say forced? Poor guy. We talked on the phone and I thought that this will be fun. He actually talks. We meet at El Sol's Mexican restaurant. He walks in and I stand up thinking in my head, "He's cute." He pats me on my head and says, "You're short." I thought well it's a free meal and he later tells me that he really thought that he blew it and knew that he would not hear from me again. In this journey I remember deciding that never again will I try to change for a person that I consider a friend and lover. I let every thing go. I believe that I did a lot a first date blunders. I was completely honest. We talked about our exes, money and what we will and will not do. I did this because I was for sure we weren't going to see each other again. Guess what? It was the best wedding ever on September 7 2013, I married my best friend. The wedding was exactly what we wanted with Star Trek insignias and music. This man loves me with everything that comes with me. He accepts the entire package. I will love him forever.
We have blended our families rather well. The kids are amazing with one another and we truly are a family. I have often thought what makes things seem so easy. Barry has started a new job and I have quit my job. I am going back to school. Things are tight but what makes this so easy is that we are not putting on blame and we approach all things with love. It is faith, love and Star Trek. LOL!!! Ladies do not accept below average know that you are loved by God. The person that you will marry should love you as God loves you. You should do the same. I feel this everyday. I am blessed.
Blessings to you,
Natalie :)
My ex-husband, Bill, came home from work one evening. I didn't have dinner on the table and struggling to get the kids to start bedtime routine. Also, I was trying to straighten up the house in order to not hear his critical attitude towards me for the hundredth time. I remember it so well and can see it in my head. It was the moment that I have been avoiding. I told Bill that I was sick and asked if he could give the kids a bath. His response to me was the pinnacle of our entire marriage. "They like you better." In my head, "Are you fucking kidding me? You are their father!" I am shouting in my head and unable to speak because I knew I would be called stupid and crazy. Then I go to the kitchen to clean up the after dinner mess. All I hear is Bill once again complaining about work. He constantly did this and blamed others for his issues. I turned around and said, "When will you stop complaining about work?" Then that was it and I knew what I had done. It was a nerve that I had tapped. I continue to do what I need to do. When I sat down practically in tears and sicker than a dog Bill informed me that he thought it was best that we should separate. The words didn't hit me for awhile because it hit my heart before my head realized what he was saying. I can't remember what happened. I know we still slept in the same bed and the kids went to bed that night as normal. What happened the next day was a blur because I know I told my mom. I find that we as women will tell our moms and girlfriends before the world. I told my mom in fear because I felt that I had failed. This set the tone for his attitude towards me the next three years to the present day. It was my hope that we were able to get along but I don't pay attention to those who find me a second class citizen. I have racked my brain as to why he was controlling and emotionally abusive. It is unfortunate that he is unable to parent with me. He parents the way he thinks that he should parent and that I should follow suit. I will continue to do my best. I know I am doing well when I have children that respect me and others and do well in school. My ex continues to try to tell me who he thinks I should be as a mother. What do I have to say to that? "Your ship has sailed maybe you should go catch it."
The first date is a creature all it's own. Now I had a lot of first dates during the time after the divorce. I have two favorite first date stories. The first one is just creepy and then there is the one where I was called short. I had joined a online dating site. There were some real winners. I am not talking #WINNING! I accepted a meeting with this guy we will call Bob. Bob had his own business and that was a start. He had a job. In his emails on the site he seemed like he was decent guy. I go to Starbucks. It's where I meet people in person for the first time. This isn't exactly true. The first date where I was called short was different. Anyway, we will get back to that soon. Bob paid for my mocha and we talked and share stories. Then I noticed that he didn't have half of his fingers. I can put up with a lot and consider myself a tolerant person. I forget the story that he told me because I had made a decision that I didn't want to see him again. Oh! He talked funny too. It was just weird. I said I had to go and stepped outside. He continues to talk and he has a white work van. Did I mention the creep factor? We are standing outside and it's chilly. He asked if I was cold and before I could answer he pointed to his van, "Let's go sit in my van and warm up." My friends who know me know that I can at times bring a situation to a whole new level and think the worst. My answer was "NO!!!!!" I did not speak to him again. Can you imagine what was truly going on in his van?
Do you ever have the moment where you wish you could just turn around, but there's a free meal involved? This is the date I will never forget. I believe blessed by God who I think has this sense of humor that we as humans don't find very funny. HAHA!!! I meet Barry. We love politics, movies and Star Trek. He introduced me to "Nine Inch Nails" and he has maybe a forced appreciation of Broadway musicals. Did I say forced? Poor guy. We talked on the phone and I thought that this will be fun. He actually talks. We meet at El Sol's Mexican restaurant. He walks in and I stand up thinking in my head, "He's cute." He pats me on my head and says, "You're short." I thought well it's a free meal and he later tells me that he really thought that he blew it and knew that he would not hear from me again. In this journey I remember deciding that never again will I try to change for a person that I consider a friend and lover. I let every thing go. I believe that I did a lot a first date blunders. I was completely honest. We talked about our exes, money and what we will and will not do. I did this because I was for sure we weren't going to see each other again. Guess what? It was the best wedding ever on September 7 2013, I married my best friend. The wedding was exactly what we wanted with Star Trek insignias and music. This man loves me with everything that comes with me. He accepts the entire package. I will love him forever.
We have blended our families rather well. The kids are amazing with one another and we truly are a family. I have often thought what makes things seem so easy. Barry has started a new job and I have quit my job. I am going back to school. Things are tight but what makes this so easy is that we are not putting on blame and we approach all things with love. It is faith, love and Star Trek. LOL!!! Ladies do not accept below average know that you are loved by God. The person that you will marry should love you as God loves you. You should do the same. I feel this everyday. I am blessed.
Blessings to you,
Natalie :)
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